Thinking on Revising Paper 1 - selections from students' journals

Option 3: Read through a classmate’s paper with them and give them feedback for their journal
 What was your first instinct in terms of “things to look for”? Did you want to revert to
making language/grammar suggestions or were you comfortable sticking with larger
picture issues?
 What did you learn from reading through the paper with your classmate and how might
that help you with the writing/revising of your own paper?
 Do you think that reading through their paper with them was likely to be of help? Why or why not?

My first instincts were to look for organization or structure of their essay. Also overseeing how well they were able to explain their ideas and get them across to the reader with as little confusion as possible. Looking into that I was looking for the "meat" of the essay, and comparing to how much of it was just repetition versus the sentences that actually meant and said something to me. At times I did want to revert back to grammar checking because that is what I was programmed to do, but it was not hard focusing on the larger picture especially because her essay did not have many grammar mistakes that made it hard for the essay to read. I was very much comfortable sticking with larger picture issues because I enjoyed it much more than reading for grammar mistakes because, as I said I was looking for the "meat" of the essay and truly trying to understand what they had to say. It was also easy because this is not your typical strict MLA, boring prompt essay that really were a big pain to read in high school because there was no real room for creativity or deep thought. The essay is fun and exciting to write and read anyways because you are reading what someone else thinks and feels, it is more personal which makes it easier.
I learned that by reading someone else's paper, there is a different voice, or perception that the reader brings to the essay they are reading and the mind set is different. And I realized this because when I first started out my mood and thought were a lot different from when I continued to read the essay and actually open my mind and read what this person has to say. To me, that is a great thing, and something the person did well was that they were able to capture you into the writing and leave every other thought I had in mind and made me focus on their writing. I also learned that everyone has a distinct way of writing; I knew that before but being able to actually read a couple peoples paper and looking at what they have to say instead of just their grammar, I was able to really see it and appreciate it. Being able to see really inspired me to try and build my own voice in writing. From these two things I learned and saw, it inspired me to really want to try hard and have to make someone focus on my paper and forget everything else and read what I have written and form a valid and fairly decent opinion on it. And not just on what I have to say, but how they hear my distinct voice through the words that they are reading and really personalize the essay and make them think.
Reading the essay with the person there helped a lot because I was able to personally give them my feedback and explain and point out things that I otherwise would not have been able to do just by taking the essay home and reading it and just writing my response. To me that is very impersonal for writing since writing is personal especially when it comes to a narrative such as this essay that requires a person to state their opinion and share their thoughts and webs of analysis.

We haven't directly talked about voice in class.

Option 5: “Ways of Seeing” – YouTube
Watch Berger’s BBC TV show via YouTube. Watch at least one full episode (broken into
three or more parts/installments). The first episode most closely addresses the content of the essay we’ve read.
 Did you find the videos more accessible than the essay? Why do you think that might be?
What do you think Berger might say about your reading vs. watching “Ways of Seeing”?
 What more did you get out of the video than you got from the essay? Did the videos
affect your understanding of Berger’s argument, and how might that influence the work
you are doing within your paper?

For Journal 7, I watched Berger's first episode from his TV show via YouTube. I feel it was easier to watch the show over reading the essay. Even though I was able to write on the essay and make note, I still found it easier to listen to it. Maybe it was easier because I was able to hear the way the author actually wanted it to sound and not me putting my perspective with each sentence I read. Also, I'm used to learning by someone talking. Throughout school, teachers have always lectured, I have never had to read their lecture (other than to study) to learn something. Aside from listening to the videos, the visual aspect of the videos helped. Berger showed pictures according to what he was saying. I didn't have to come up with my own mental pictures of what he was trying to get arose. Berger would probably think that reading his paper would be more effective. I would have my own perspective by reading the paper but also he would claim that the video is not unique because everyone has access to it all around the world. The videos did affect my understanding of the essay. Even though they were very similar, the videos made his point more clear. It has helped me in writing my paper because now I feel I need to be more descriptive but still not making my paper more complicated. I need to write as if my paper is addressing real people so the reader can have an easier time reading it.

Priceless.